Those silly directions on product packaging...

It went something like this...

"Wendy, are you afraid of spiders?" And before I really have a chance to answer, "Because there is a spider in the lunchroom and it's holding my popcorn hostage!"

So Amber and I walk into the lunchroom. We are temporarily distracted by the smell of burning popcorn. I open the microwave door and a poof of yellow smoke billows out of the door.

"OH MY GOD. It's on fire!"

I replied to Amber, "No, I don't think so, but maybe you should get the fire extinguisher," and I close the door of the microwave to contain the yellow smoke.

Amber runs back in the lunchroom with the extinguisher and Michelle, our safety committee person.

"YOU cannot use that extinguisher, you haven't been trained." Michelle emphatically states.

I walk past the spider, who caused the incident, get a paper cup and TRAP him!

We are fanning the sprinkler heads to make sure they don't go off. Hmmm. I decide we must take the popcorn out of the building to get it doused with water and get the smell removed.

So I open the door again. The yellow smoke is gone. Walking gingerly through the warehouse I begin to giggle. The popcorn producers do say to stand by the microwave, do not leave popcorn unattended.

I'd tend to agree.

I douse the popcorn with water, leave it out on the loading dock and head back to the lunch room.

Grabbing a pseudo fan, a laminated warning card about the lunchroom being for AMMEX employees, I slip it under the cup, and take the criminal outside.

I fling him with gusto out into the shrubbery.

"Oh, Wendy, you are so nice."

"There's nothing nice about it. I just don't like to hear the spider body go CRUNCH when you step on them."

Okay, so let's resume working. But alas, I have my camera. So I head back out to the loading dock to take a picture of...."WHEN POPCORN GOES BAD...."

While it looks like black beans on corn tortilla chips...it's popcorn.

"I feel like calling the company, I am so upset right now." Amber rambles on in the sales pit.

"Uh, calling them because you didn't follow their directions about not leaving popcorn unattend?"

"But there was a spider!"

"Yes, you should tell them to address aracniphobia (or however you spell it, I'm gonna be late for work, I'm not spell checking) on their packaging for sure."

Today's lunch is all raw foods, or ones that don't need re-heating.